UNATTRACTIVE
Note: I wrote this when i was in college and just found it on an old hard drive. It is a song i wrote which i thought was worth sharing. If anyone can come up with a tune for this, let me know.
Some nights I feel so lonely, I know I need a girl
All of my friends that have one are on top of the world
I can see them giggle and laugh and play
But any time I get close to a girl she tries to run away.
I don’t know what it is, I don’t know why
Is it because I’m a looser, is it because I try?
I can’t get a female, to stay by my side
I want a girl, someone to take for a ride.
Just last week, I was walking down the street,
Looking for a girl, someone new to meet
All of a sudden, I had to stop
This girl came out of a coffee shop
Her hair blew in slow motion out in the wind
My heart stopped and I thought, maybe I’ll have a new friend
I took one look at her face and my heart took another beat
This girl was not like the others, she wasn’t even a piece of meat.
Oh Girl… I find you repulsive!!
I find you so unattractive, I wish you’d go away
I find you so unattractive, when I’m with you, I think I’m gay
You’re so unattractive, your ass fills the room,
You’re so unattractive, your farts a sonic boom….
I find you so unattractive, I’ll kick your bloody ass
I find you so unattractive,
Girl… you’ve got no class
You’re so unattractive, I hate you with my soul
You’re so unattractive, your head’s a big fat mole
You’re so unattractive, I hate you with all my might
You’re so unattractive, for you, I’d lose the fight
Continued chorus
I prayed so many nights to get this girl by my side,
Why does she have to be so darn ugly and make me want to hide
This isn’t what I wanted
This is not how it’s supposed to be
This doesn’t compare to the fairy tales, I heard when I was 3
Chorus
She followed me home that day
I told her for dinner, she can’t stay
She found my number in the phone book
And grabbed onto me like a fishing hook
I was caught there was no escape
For the rest of my bloody life, she was gonna be my date
Chorus
How do I get rid of this girl
There is no place to hide in the entire world
She tracked me down to chili and figi too
Why doesn’t she understand when I say “we’re through”
All my life I wanted someone by my side
Now I want to lie down and die
This girl is torture, she’s worse than hell
I can’t stand her f’in smell
Ok, she’s annoying, with that I can deal
But man is she ugly, she looks like a doggy meal
I don’t even like one thing about it
Now my life is worth a pile of shit
Chorus
You’re so unattractive, for you I’d lose the fight
You’re so unattractive, for you I’d lose the fight
You’re so unattractive, for you I’d lose the fight
For you I’d lose the fight
For you I’d lose the fight
For you I’d lose the fight……………
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS ARE, THEY CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS EVERY DAY, YOU NEVER KNOW IF THEY ARE HERE TO STAY.
THIS SONG WAS INSPIRED BY SOME UGLY PEOPLE I ‘VE SEEN, PLEASE DON’T TELL THEM ABOUT IT, I DON’T WANT TO LOOK MEAN.
Wow, this poem gets more and more sucky each time I read it. It was destined to be a country music song. Totally.