How to Fix a PC Computer

*This poem is dedicated to Mick Campbell from Middlesbrough @MickDude for suggesting the topic of “how to fix a computer”.  You too can have a poem dedicated to you if you send @suckypoems a suggestion for a sucky poem on twitter.

Fixing a PC computer is actually quite complex

you have to do about a 101 different checks

it starts with checking tasks and seeing what’s running

and see what process your computer is shunning

then ending the process and see if it works

and then move on to find the other quirks

check your system and your firewall

then start a scan to send out a call

scan for viruses and spyware too

delete all of your downloads from the queue

uninstall programs that don’t seem to run

after all that you would think that you’d be done

repeat the processes above and see if it changes

click on the process column before it rearranges

if all else fails, here’s what to do

shut down the computer and start the session anew

that should work but if not

call tech support for help and then wait a lot

until some one picks up and tells you to do everything you already tried

when they finally tell you, your computer has died

but they have a special on computers this week

and you can own a new piece of junk courtesy of the squad of geeks

then you can buy a warranty that will cover any issue

but their warranty is what i use for bathroom tissue

with the warranty, they take your computer for several weeks

then give it back and tell you they completed some tweaks

but you notice that nothing has changed and it still has the trouble

now you’re left without a computer and your ticked off double

My suggestion to you is to take your computer back

then splurge a little and buy yourself a Mac